Old Sun and Stars, and Oceans Below Me.

i say what what, in the butt;

HE: I’ve been molested by a non-male, non-female before.
ME: you were molested by a transvestite?
HE: No, by a chair.

as a matter of fact;

me: do you think i'm hot?
he: yes. as hot as 37 degree Celsius.

seated on his leg;

me: do you like having me around?
he: no. i don't like having you around. i like having you a Square. you're too much a Round.

While packing.

ME: Yeah, take the rackets, help bring some of my clothes too ok?
HE: What am I? A donkey to transport your stuff?
HE: Donkey Kong?
*why this is so funny is because his surname is Kong.

After watching CSI;

Me: Would you kill that someone who killed me?
He: Erm.. I Dunno. But I'll kill you if you killed yourself.

While he sits on my bum;

he: you're my couch, so does this make me a couch potato?
me: no, you're too skinny to be a potato. you're a couch french fry.

After I broke wind;

Sister: you sound like you have a balloon inside you.

After 10 minutes of jogging;

Sister: Oh, I'm feeling much lighter... much lighter in the head.

This is why FACE TO FACE is better.

ME: I was being sarcastic with the question.
HE: I'm sorry your font does not reflect your sarcasm.

Bitch on Board.

ME: You want me to bring anything from Msia to Spore?
HE: Yeah, another girl.
ME: Sure! What type? Age? Skin Color? Height? Any preference?
HE: Yeah, white and gray hair, about 20cm tall, 4 years old, 8 nipples.